Of course it's private even if "other people know about it."

You're entitled to tell a friend things in confidence, and still consider it "private" from anyone else.

This is especially true if it was someone from your past, that knew before you decided to keep it private.

This idea that once married you have to sit down and confess all your secrets and private issues is extremely unhealthy. Marriage does not inherently mean a lack of personal privacy.

The bottom line is; this is about oral sex- to which men feel entitled.

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"The question is now what to do about it."

Absolutely nothing,

The OP is simply pissed that she did it for others and now won't do it for him. Her reasons and distaste for it seems to be of no bearing to him...which is wholly unacceptable.

So, here's what to do about it.

- She used to give oral sex.

- Now she doesn't like it, and doesn't want to do it.

- So respect her desires and move on.